God & the Ferber Method

When we first adopted Abreham we had a hard time getting him to fall asleep on his own or without being held.  There were times it took us over an hour to get him asleep in his bed ... and if he woke up during the night, we'd just have to repeat the process.

Then we read an interesting fact:  "Most babies have the ability to fall asleep on their own around 4-6 months of age."  And we suddenly became fans of the "Ferber Method" which basically means you let your kid cry for a predetermined but increasing amount of time until they fall asleep on their own (sounds cruel & unusual I know).  I picked a time when Beth was going to be out of town for a few days and decided to give it a try.  The first night Abreham cried for 45 minutes non-stop. By the 7th night, he was quiet as a mouse after about a minute or two.  Sleep problem solved ... for Abreham AND Mommy & Daddy.

Essentially, the "Ferber" Method is teaching your child to overcome his/her perceptions and rest in what is true.

• PERCEPTION:  I can't fall asleep without being cuddled up next to a warm body, preferably Mommy.
  
  
  
  • REALITY:  God designed your body so that you can enjoy sleep without depriving your parents of it.
  
  
  
  


• PERCEPTION:  When I wake up in the middle of the night, I am alone and need immediate attention.
  
  
  
  • REALITY:  You are never alone. Your parents can be in your room in 1.97 seconds if you really need them.
  
  
  
  


• PERCEPTION: Mommy & Daddy aren't meeting my needs. I'm scared.
  
  
  
  • REALITY:  Do I trust Mommy & Daddy?
  
  
  
  

Then it hit me:  this is exactly what God wants to teach us.  We perceive He is absent, when He is not.  We perceive we need something, when God knows exactly what we need.  We perceive His grace is not enough, when He knows His grace is more than sufficient. And God never sleeps, never slumbers, and never dozes off so we can rest in Him.

God wants us to rest in the reality of Himself, rather than become anxious about deceptive perceptions.

The only way we can "grow up" as a Christian is to live by the truth ... and sometimes God has to "Ferberize" us from our patterns and perceptions that are not based on truth.

When tempted to doubt God, question Him, or fear your circumstances, fall back on what is true and when it seems cloudy, go to the Cross.