What I've Learned (so far)

As the church planter who helped start RBCC and now serves as the lead pastor, I have a very big desire to see Rock Bridge be all that God wants us to be.  I have struggled a lot with what is my role in that pursuit and what is God's role.  More often that not I have erred on the side of "if it is to be, it is up to me." This mentality pushed me to work really hard and do my best.  Doing your best and working hard can produce positive results and make us feel good (about ourselves) but the danger is that we start relying on our "best" (which is no where close to God's best) and our hard work instead of the work of the Holy Spirit. In other words, we become self-reliant, not Christ-dependent ... and our self-reliance becomes like a god that feeds the ego and pushes away the God of the Bible who declares that "apart from Him we can do nothing". These sinful patterns also produce the stress and weight of undue responsibility. Hard things for a pastor to admit ... but perhaps I did not really know how to rely on God.  But when do we really have to rely just on God?

Then the bottom fell out.  My neat little world with all my natural tendencies were rocked by Beth's unconventional and untimely illness and the treatment it required for her to have a chance to live.  For once, nothing was up to me ... not the "success" of Rock Bridge or the outcome of Beth's treatment.  For once, I had to essentially stop pastoring Rock Bridge during the critical month of Beth's transplant.  For once, all I could really do was pray, turn to the Scriptures, and lean into the encouragement of my church family.  While I'm still seeking to process much of this, there are some common themes emerging--

• I am way more sinful than I imagined. The degree of self-reliance in me was/is strong and so natural that I did not even see it as sin.  Even my strategies for fighting sin where sinful in their humanistic, self-help tendencies. This fight is far from over, but at least I see the enemy more clearly now.


• All sin is a result of unbelief, and all spiritual growth & joy are the results of belief. This really simplifies Christianity.  The struggle is not to do more; rather it is to believe more and to trust more.  It is as simple (or hard) as getting onto an airplane -- you either believe it will fly or you don't.  There really is no middle ground. I'm finding that the middle ground is losing ground in my life as I learn to see my life in terms of where I believe God and where I don't.  Where I believe Him there is much joy and the peace;  and where I don't believe Him, I am praying like the father in Mark 9 -- "I believe, help my unbelief!"


• Our work is to respond to God's. God is responsible for building churches and saving sinners.  God is responsible for conforming His children into the likeness of His Son.  To cast all responsibility on God means resting in the power of the Gospel, trusting in the production power of His Word & Spirit, and praying based on His character and not your circumstances.


• Rock Bridge is healthy. I could make this point with our attendance, baptisms, small group launches, and special offering numbers BUT those things alone don't make a healthy church.  I have seen this church in a different light and the view is amazing!! We are not a perfect church (far from it) but we are seeking to be a biblical church ... and that pursuit did not slow down, suffer, or lose momentum because of my family's situation or my absence ... AND in many ways Rock Bridge has sped up!!


• It is possible to be satisfied with Jesus Christ ... and nothing more. This is what the Scriptures claim and the lives of the apostles model, but very rarely are we forced into "just Jesus" dependence so we can really taste "just Jesus" satisfaction.  I can't say that I live this truth every day, but I can say that for a few moments I got there (or rather God got me there) ... and it was better than great.  To push past circumstances, empty yourself of yourself, and just press into Jesus was/is beautiful and wonderful!