Dealing with Criticism

One area that God has been speaking to me about lately is how to deal with criticism.  I guess I was a little surprised at the amount of criticism you receive as a church planter and as a pastor ... and any criticism against our church is against me because I love this church, helped start this church, and believe so much in the potential of this church (this means when a staff member, ministry, music, etc is criticized, I take it personally ... I've tried not to but it's like when someone criticizes a family member or close friend.)  So here's what I've been learning about dealing with criticism:

Any and all criticism is an opportunity for me to check my spirit and combat pride.  I am tempted to silence criticism, get defensive, and quit listening.  However, that response can lead to or indicate a prideful spirit and I am VERY AFRAID of pride in me.  So I try to ask God to search my spirit, examine my motives, AND if the criticism is valid ... receive it and act on it. (And YES, criticism can be valid and there is usually a reason for all criticism.)

Criticism can be a sign that people care.  I sit in meetings all Tuesday morning reviewing what is happening in our church and planning ahead.  I listen to our staff and leaders speak openly and honestly and sometimes critically.  But these people care about Jesus Christ, Rock Bridge, and God's work here.  Criticism from people who care and understand the vision of Rock Bridge is incredibly important to hear, receive, and respond to appropriately.  Criticism in this way can indicate high levels of ownership.  (Perry Noble has a great post on dealing with "tension" in the room during a meeting.)

Criticism is an opportunity to cast vision.  Criticism may reflect a lack of understanding and a desire to understand.  For example, we strongly discourage parents from bringing children (5th grade and under) into our adult service.  Some have interpreted this to mean that we are against children which could not be farther from the truth.  We explained that we have an incredible children's ministry that is safe, secure, fun and Jesus-packed, that children distract others in the service (including the preacher who does not use notes very much and can forget what he is saying when distracted), and that a huge part of our vision is providing relevant, age-appropriate environments ... then usually their criticisms are replaced with understanding and a level of appreciation.  Any and every criticism can be a great opportunity to cast vision!! 

Criticism can be a sign that people do not understand the vision.  I would love to think that we would have 100% buy-in to what we do ... but that has not happened yet and I am beginning to think it never will. Some people will never understand why I don't use the KJV, wear a suit, or why we use the music we use, or why we love small groups, or why we value technology.  And I have to be okay with that. 

Godly convictions and principles do not have to be defended.  This is the lesson of Daniel 3:16-18.  We do not have to defend obedience, matters that have been settled and bathed in prayer, and anything attached to God's glory.